Friday, December 4, 2009

It's here (already)

December that is... which means that Christmas is less than a month away.
I have found it quite difficult for a while now to get excited over this time of year. For both my hubbies family and my own, it just seems to be a reminder of who is not here to celebrate it with us -  again. We go through the motions, do the decorating, buy the presents, prepare the food and try to have a good time but I suppose that's what happens when you lose people you love - you never stop thinking about them.

This year is a little different though - Louise is two - she is the 1st child in both our families since my brother was born 21 years ago.
(I'm so sad I can't call him my baby anymore)
She doesn't really get it but, I see it in her eyes - they just light up at the sight of Christmas. The coloured decorations, the trees, the strange person in red and especially the tinsel. Everywhere we go I hear "Its pretty mummy, so pretty". There is this happiness and excitement that just can't be contained and her smiles are so special.

So now, this year and for the next fifteen years (at least), i hope our family will begin to remember how much fun and how lovely Christmas can really be. It will never be the same but I look forward to making new happy memories for Lou (and her siblings and cousins - when they come).

Note: This is NOT my tree (it will never look that good, no matter how hard I try) We will put ours up sometime next week. I got this photo from here

2 comments:

Amanda {Mocking Bird} said...

I've just found your lovely blog so I'm not sure who you've lost, but I lost my father when I was 23 and I know this feeling too well.
It seems that the times that used to be the happiest become the hardest.
I found that for the people around you now you have to just make it a new memory.
When he first passed we felt horribly on his bday but now we just make that day a day for us to go out and spend time together and be happy. It works.

lulufroufrou said...

Thank you Amanda - I also lost my father when I was 23. It was very sudden so we had no warning. These times are definitely the hardest but yes spending them together makes it a little easier. Thank you for your thoughts.

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