I have found it quite difficult for a while now to get excited over this time of year. For both my hubbies family and my own, it just seems to be a reminder of who is not here to celebrate it with us - again. We go through the motions, do the decorating, buy the presents, prepare the food and try to have a good time but I suppose that's what happens when you lose people you love - you never stop thinking about them.
This year is a little different though - Louise is two - she is the 1st child in both our families since my brother was born 21 years ago.
(I'm so sad I can't call him my baby anymore)
She doesn't really get it but, I see it in her eyes - they just light up at the sight of Christmas. The coloured decorations, the trees, the strange person in red and especially the tinsel. Everywhere we go I hear "Its pretty mummy, so pretty". There is this happiness and excitement that just can't be contained and her smiles are so special.
Note: This is NOT my tree (it will never look that good, no matter how hard I try) We will put ours up sometime next week. I got this photo from here
2 comments:
I've just found your lovely blog so I'm not sure who you've lost, but I lost my father when I was 23 and I know this feeling too well.
It seems that the times that used to be the happiest become the hardest.
I found that for the people around you now you have to just make it a new memory.
When he first passed we felt horribly on his bday but now we just make that day a day for us to go out and spend time together and be happy. It works.
Thank you Amanda - I also lost my father when I was 23. It was very sudden so we had no warning. These times are definitely the hardest but yes spending them together makes it a little easier. Thank you for your thoughts.
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